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Monthly Archives: June 2014

I’m not sure about the rest of you readers, but at my house World Cup FIFA soccer has taken over. My husband is watching like 3 games a day and has corrupted our kids with promises of new stickers for their soccer book. So while the rest of my family watches hours upon hours of soccer, I am finding myself with endless amounts of alone time. At a friend’s suggestion, I have decided to use this time to get out of the house and maybe even try a few new things. It isn’t often that I have time to myself, let alone 4 weeks worth of free evenings. As I explore my city and brave new adventures, I thought I might share a few of these outings in my blog. The first couple of days were nothing too excited or worth writing about but last night’s adventure was full of blood, sweat and tears.  Here’s how it went down.

For a long time I have wanted to try out Zumba. I love to dance and over the last few years have lost a bunch of weight thanks to healthier eating habits and the Wii Just Dance games. I love the Wii because I can do it anytime, and can make a complete fool of myself without anyone watching. Plus, other than the initial cost of the games, it’s a free way to exercise. But after hearing all about the Zumba craze, I decided I should really venture out and try a class. I signed up with some friends but that class doesn’t start for 2 weeks. And given my current state of boredom and looking for new activities, I decided to try a drop-in class at the local rec centre. It was surprisingly cheap and the time worked out great. The only problem was I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. So here I am with a dilemma, do I stay home and watch the movie The Butler, which I just snagged from the library, or do I get out of my comfort zone and try a new class…by myself. With the persuasion of my husband I opted for Zumba.

So off I go. I get to the class early so I can scope out the situation. My goal was to sneak in, find a spot where no one could see me, like on the back or middle and try it out. As I am waiting for the doors to open I decide to browse through the drop-in pamphlet I grabbed when I signed up. A few minutes later, I hear the doors open and when I go to look up I somehow manage to slice the drop-in pamphlet across the side of my nose.  I’m like “uh that really hurt”. A few seconds later I feel something drip down my face. I wipe and what do I see??? Blood!! Are you kidding me? I can’t actually be bleeding from a paper cut? So I make a mad dash to the bathroom and yes, I not only have a cut on my nose, but one that is dripping all over my face and won’t stop bleeding despite my best efforts. I want to die. Time is running out so I run upstairs to the cashier and ask if she has a small band-aid. Normally I actually carry around a first aid kit, which contains all sizes of band-aids, including lovely small, not-so-noticeable ones. But since I decided that I didn’t want to bring my giant purse, all I had were the bare essentials and no small band-aids.  The front desk attendant finds me a band-aid and apologizes that it’s all she has (note – NOT SMALL). I run back to the bathroom and put it on. Awesome. It is a clear band-aid except for the big white part that soaks up my bloody nose.  So basically the biggest most noticeable band aid in the world.

I briefly consider calling it a day and going home. But then I think about how I have just spent the last year trying to pump up my 7-year old daughter and telling her not to care what people think of her. And how you should never be embarrassed.  Awesome.  So I put on a brave band-aided face, and off I go to class. Late now thanks to the nose incident and yes turns and looks at me as I enter the room with my giant band-aid nose (which is super uncomfortable and I feel like a big dork).

But I survived. I even went and asked the teacher a question after class, even though I knew how ridiculous I looked. At the end of the day I left my pride at the door and did it. I loved the class and would go again. I will just avoid all paper products in the future.

Until I write again…

x Shay

Making New Friends is Like Dating All Over Again

When you tell people you are moving to a new city, you will hear comments like “Oh I’d hate to move. I have best the doctor. I can’t imagine having to find a new one”. It’s true. Finding a new doctor, dentist, hair dresser and pizza place can feel like a near impossible task. But after moving twice in the past 10 years, I would say those are more like minor inconveniences.  Making a new town feel like home is what’s hard.  Being in a city where you have no friends is simply – lonely.

There are so many great things about moving. Exploring a new city. Having a fresh starting. But making friends is like dating all over again. Didn’t I give up dating and get married so I wouldn’t have to do this?  You meet some. You might eventually start-up some idle chit-chat. But at what point do you go from idle chit-chat to asking someone out for coffee?

And what if you aren’t an outgoing person? What if even starting up a conversation makes you feel like you might lose your lunch?  Can you find the courage to step out of your comfort zone? To be brave? To risk rejection? It’s like being the new kid at school all over again.

At some point you do it. You get up the nerve to start that first conversation and eventually you make a date for coffee. So you go out. You share life stories. You share a cup of coffee or two.  And what if, after all that effort you end up not really liking them. Good grief. It really is like dating!

And that’s just one friend. Don’t you want a few good friends. Maybe even a couple to hang out with? Oh my goodness, you mean I might have to do this, like more than once? Ug.

In my estimation it takes a good year to make a new friend. From that initial hello, to getting up the nerve to invite someone out and then to get to the point where you can call them up for no reason other than just to chat.

But in the end it’s worth the time and effort. Because a good friend in a new city is priceless. Having someone who will see the new chick flick with you, go for a walk at the beach, take a Zumba class or invite you to join their book club.

So be brave. Put yourself out there. And give it time.

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. – G. Randolf

Good friends are like new adventures, you never know what life lessons they might teach you” – Unknown

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. – Aristotle

Until I write again…

x Shay

I’ve Turned into an Advice Spewing Monster

My sister-in-law is pregnant and I am so excited to be an aunt! But something has happened to me since hearing the news. I have suddenly become this crazy person who has this overwhelming need to impart all of my parenting wisdom on them. It spews out of my mouth like lava. It’s as though someone else has taking over my body and I can’t help myself. The worst part is I hated those people when I was pregnant. Cornering me by the water cooler to share some ‘amazing parenting tip’. I felt like an advice magnet. Everyone needing to stick some note of parenting information on me. And now I have become one of those people!

The truth is I know my brother and sister-in-law are highly intelligent people. And I actually think they are going to be amazing parents. So why do I feel this need to tell them that newborns need two layer of clothes or that no matter what those parenting books say, breastfeeding hurts.

I guess after having kids I realized how much I didn’t know. I think surviving the first couple of years of your child’s life should earn you a medal. Maybe a giant trophy. And if you have a second child or if you are crazy enough to have a third of fourth – you deserve a title like “the duchess of motherhood” or something. Because each one of the cute little minions you birth comes with its own unique set of challenges.

I mean when my son was born and thought, no problem. I’ve done this before. I’m like a pro now right? Hahahaha. NO! Joke is on you. You know nothing. My son, unlike his sister, hated the car seat, swing and soother. What? So all those months I spent mastering my daughter’s needs meant nothing? nothing??????

Yes that’s right. Back to square one. Back to new sleep strategies. New feeding issues. Back to being so tired you want to cry. And yet I still feel like I must spew all I know about parenting on the pregnant people of the world.

So here is my best advice:

1. Someday your children won’t want you to carry them, sleep in your bed or let you hold their hand. So never feel bad about doing it now.
2. Tomorrow will be better. But the day after will suck.
3. Never judge another Mom. Like ever!
4. If you feel like everyone is staring at you and judging you remember this  – it is more likely that they are staring at you and wondering if you are judging them. Because people think about themselves. Not you.
5. Always pee before you tend to the needs or anyone in your family. Think of it like putting on the oxygen mask first on an airplane. You will never regret peeing first. You will only regret that you didn’t.
6. Love them. Hug them. Tell them how amazing they are as often a you can.
7. Repeat number 6 above but replace the word “them” with “yourself”
8. Don’t beat yourself up about what you did or didn’t do yesterday. Do your best with the information you have today.
9. Smile. It makes you look beautiful.
10. I’ll let you fill this one in. Because at the heart of all things, we have some good advice of our own.

Until I write again…

x Shay

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